


Let's Make a Bet

by veryderpypizza



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Dina Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Domestic Fluff, Ellie Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Mild Blood, Mild Sexual Content, Nightmares, Shower Sex, i just wanted an excuse to write them being soft and sad and sexy all at once so, i wrote this to vent for my depression but you can read it too, in flashbacks only. no injuries happen to our girls, mild violence, no beta we die like men, there might be a plot here if you squint really hard, this is it. there's not much coherence going on, very mild but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veryderpypizza/pseuds/veryderpypizza
Summary: The farm is everything she ever wanted, and yet Ellie struggles to live her new, peaceful life. At least Dina is there for her.They take care of each other.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Let's Make a Bet

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, been a good little while since I wrote anything for TLoU. This honestly isn't that great but I thought it'd be better to post it than to leave it to rot. With that being said, hope you enjoy it ;w;

Ellie doesn’t know how long she’s been out in the woods. There was still sunlight when she ran out, but now it’s gone, the sky littered with stars surrounding a full moon. She lifts her head just enough for her eyes to peak over her knees, where she’s currently balled up and sitting against a tree trunk. She didn’t go deep into the woods at all, opting to stay around the outskirts. She can see the smoke from the chimney is still visible from here. It’s her guide for when she needs to go back. Her mind and body are numb, empty like a hollow vessel. Ellie lost her train of thought some time ago — minutes, hours, she can’t tell. She doesn’t feel like she’s entirely here. She can feel the cold earth beneath her, she can feel the breeze on her skin, she can hear the leaves rustle and the sound of wildlife. But it all feels distant and fragile, like a dream.

Dina eventually comes to retrieve her, all dressed and ready for the night, looking mildly annoyed. Seeing that look on her face causes something to settle deep in Ellie’s chest. It coils around her heart and grows tighter and tighter with each step Dina takes. It’s a slow burn of merciless pressure that reaches a head once Dina is kneeling down and putting her clean hand on Ellie’s knee. The warmth of her hand shocks Ellie back to herself fully like being doused in ice cold water, and she sits up and blinks owlishly to her lover. Her chest grows even tighter as guilt rolls in her stomach. 

Ellie opens her mouth to say something, but her voice is gone. Dina just smiles softly, patiently, and reaches for one of Ellie’s hands. Once she has a grip on it, she helps Ellie to her feet, puts her hands on either of Ellie’s shoulders, and guides her back to the house wordlessly. Ellie can’t help but to let it happen, moving her legs beneath her, one foot in front of the other, as pins and needles spread throughout her limbs like a white-hot fire. 

Once they make it through the front door, Ellie speaks. 

“I’m sorry,” she croaks, her throat dry. She clears it nervously as Dina shuts and locks the door behind them.

“It’s fine,” Dina says in a hushed voice, shaking her head. “It already happened. Don’t think too much about it.” She nods toward the stairs. “C’mon, let’s go to bed.”

Ellie groans and wipes her face with both her hands, but follows Dina reluctantly, dragging her feet. Once they get upstairs, they pass the bathroom and Ellie sighs. “I need to wash my face.”

“Don’t be long,” says Dina, separating from Ellie and heading toward the room.

Ellie goes through the motions of washing up, taking the time to scrub the dirt and dried mud on her hands and elbows, even getting underneath the fingernails. Then she washes her face, and unbuttons her shirt all the way down to get her neck and some of her chest. She splashes water on her face to rinse it all off, but doesn’t have the strength to open her eyes back up again. She leans over the sink, hands on either side of it, resting her forehead against the sink mirror, feeling the water droplets rolling down her face and neck, dripping off slowly. Her mind, now that it’s been hotwired back to life, starts to do exactly what caused Ellie to run off after doing her chores in the first place — overthink. 

_You did it again. First with Jesse’s parents, and now today._ Ellie sighs and presses her lips together hard, a frown growing on her face. 

She ends up staying like that for a good little while, until the droplets begin to dry. Eventually, the darkness of the room returns her to that bad place again. Hearing him scream, seeing him battered and bloody on the ground, unable to do anything about it. The flashbacks are not as vivid as they were earlier. They’re more like half-remembered dreams. Yet they drain her soul all the same, cause that ache in her chest with no difference at all. But Ellie is too worn out to flinch, or cry, or move much at all. She doesn’t realize how tense her entire body is until the door softly creaks open.

“Honey?”

Ellie jumps, her heart rate skyrocketing, spinning around on her feet toward the sound, eyes wide with panic, then her brain processes that it was Dina’s voice, just as she can see her silhouette in the doorway. Dina turns on the light, causing Ellie to squint and cover them for a moment to let them adjust. When she blinks away the lightburn, she can see Dina, still ever so patient, crossing her arms and looking at her expectantly. 

“Uh,” Ellie says dumbly, feeling guilty for keeping Dina waiting all over again. “Sorry.” 

“That bad, huh?” Dina replies, walking over to the edge of the tub and sitting on it, which prompts Ellie to follow and do the same, taking a seat next to her. She sighs as her body lowers, thankful for getting off of her feet. They sit like that for a while, staring at the wall ahead in silence. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Ellie shakes her head, suddenly strung up by the tenderness in Dina’s voice. She doesn’t deserve Dina, putting her through so much of her bullshit. Dina, who, no matter what, at the end of the day, will find a way to take care of her. It’s a violent reminder of how much Dina cares for her, just as Ellie cares for Dina, how she’ll always drop everything to do the same for her. It doesn’t matter how bad it gets for her - during the few times where Dina’s own resolve slips and the consequences of her trauma seep through the fissures, Ellie will be there for her to get her through it. 

Ellie, finding the thought of reliving today’s earlier flashbacks unbearable, simply shakes her head, pressing her lips together again to keep them from trembling. She closes her eyes and bows her head in shame, clasping her hands together nervously. She lets out a shaky sigh, feeling heat bloom behind her eyes again. _No more,_ she thinks. _No more tears. They’re all gone for today._

She can hear Dina sliding over closer to her, until their legs and hips are touching, and Dina pulls her into a hug. Ellie rests her head in the crook of Dina’s shoulder, turning her nose into her neck and inhaling her scent. The gesture is like a reset button, soothing Ellie’s nerves and grounding her back to reality. 

“I don’t deserve you,” she mumbles, unable to think before she speaks what’s on her mind.

“Oh, shut up you dramatic asshole,” Dina giggles fondly. “You’re okay. We’re okay.” 

Ellie’s eyes get warmer and her chest tightens again, this time seized with affection instead of guilt, and she presses her face harder into Dina’s neck, relishing the softness of her skin, the warmth from contact, basking in her love for her. She plants a clumsy kiss on her skin to show what she means, her words leaving her again. Dina strokes Ellie’s arm up and down comfortingly, then kisses the top of her head in return. They stay like that for a little while, then Dina lets up just a bit. Ellie nearly whines at the loss of contact, needing and already missing the closeness. She sits back up with a little sigh, watching Dina stand up, then offer her hand to Ellie, which she takes. Ellie fully expects that she’s going to lead her back to the room, but she instead circles around and stands in front of Ellie, close, placing both of her hands on her chest and looking up to her. 

“Hey,” she says, a little smile pulling at her lips, which makes Ellie realize just how much she herself was frowning, practically scowling. Dina brings up one hand and puts her thumb gently between Ellie’s brows, just above the bridge of her nose, and gently easing away the frown lines, causing Ellie’s entire face to relax. Ellie closes her eyes and sighs as Dina strokes her brow bone with her thumb a few times, then wraps her arms around Dina’s lower back and pulls her just a bit closer, until their bodies are flush against each other, warm and safe. Ellie opens her eyes when she feels Dina’s thumb delicately trace along her lower lip. “We _are_ okay, are we?” 

Ellie’s breath hitches in her chest, and the frown that Dina worked to banish is back, but not as strong as it was before. The change in Ellie’s demeanor causes Dina to pout slightly, but she doesn’t seem irritated. Ellie doesn’t know how much she can stay grateful for Dina more and more every day. Dina inclines her head a little, raising her eyebrows expectantly, and Ellie, looking away, lets the air out of her chest. “I dunno. I feel… I don’t know,” Ellie answers honestly, feeling mentally exhausted. 

“You were out there for four hours,” says Dina, holding Ellie’s chin with her thumb and moving her face back to look at her. “I let you stay there because you told me last time that you’d come back on your own.”

And there it is, the rightful annoyance, the reasonable disappointment. The kind Ellie won’t apologize for giving to her, and shouldn’t have the moment they entered the house. She breathes. “I know,” she says guiltily. “I’ll… try not to do it again.” Ellie wants to disappear at how pathetic that sounded just now. Somehow, it makes Dina stifle a laugh, and she wraps her arms around Ellie’s neck, bringing her face closer to hers, their noses almost touching. 

“Let’s make a bet,” she says, and even in the darkness of the night, Ellie can see that classic mischievous glint in her eye. It causes her to grin ever so slightly, blushing with adoration. 

“A bet?”

“Yeah,” says Dina. “I bet I can herd the sheep faster than you tomorrow.” 

Ellie’s face scrunches up in confusion, before the sentence hits her, and then she’s chuckling to herself. “Uh, okay?” She scoffs fondly and brushes the tip of her nose against Dina’s completely unaware of when they’d started dancing in a slow sway. 

“If I win, you have to change JJ’s diaper for a week. If I lose, I have to do it. ‘Kay?”

Ellie giggles to herself, not understanding the randomness of it but too overwhelmed with how it’s all so _Dina_ that she loves it. “Okay,” she says, and Dina smiles, which causes Ellie to mirror the action. Dina leans in and gives her a quick peck on the lips. 

“And the dishes,” Dina adds, deciding that the stakes weren’t enough.

“Okay,” Ellie replies, smiling even wider.

“You’re okay,” Dina says with finality when she pulls away, still smiling to herself, her eyes gleaming. 

Ellie blinks, realising her mood, how her sadness is little more than an insistent tug at the wound in her soul, enough to be a slight bother, but not strong enough that it can be ignored in the wake of other things. And Dina brought her to this with just a few simple words. 

“Yeah,” Ellie says softly, her breath leaving her as her face heats up even more, overwhelmed with affection. “I am.” 

_I hope. I’ll try to be. For you._

Dina kisses her again, a little longer this time, but soft and chaste. “You are,” she says when she pulls away. 

Ellie, unable to help herself, leans in again, tilting her head to the side to give her another kiss, this time a bit deeper, more sensual, opening her mouth slightly against Dina’s warm lips. The taste of her on the tip of her tongue sends a thrill down her spine. Ellie pulls away just enough to separate their mouths, resting her forehead against hers. “Thank you,” she whispers, her lips tingling for more. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“Put up with me.”

“Hey, I don’t know how I do it either. And you love me for it,” Dina teases, moving her hands lower onto Ellie’s mostly bare chest again. The heat from her palms is scalding, the shape of her hands branded into Ellie’s cool skin. Without even thinking about it, Ellie’s hands move lower, resting on the spot just above the curve of Dina’s ass, and she pulls her in closer, closer, brushing their lips together. The anticipation fizzes low and warm in her gut, thrumming beneath her skin. 

“I love you,” she whispers, her breathing picking up, sharing the air with Dina. Her entire body is warm now, and growing hotter, fire spreading slowly through her limbs. Despite her excitement, there’s a kind of sedated feeling to the whole ordeal, like they could only do no more than a few more deep, languid kisses and some feeling up, then they’d stop and retire for the night. And Ellie would be happy with just that, that’s honestly all she needs right now, at this very moment. Just Dina, however she’ll have her.  
And yet, there’s just enough in her to entertain the idea of having Dina right here, right now, probably up on the sink — that’s the _one_ piece of furniture they probably haven’t done it on yet. It’s ridiculous, and silly, and unlikely, it’s so late at night and it’s following an emotional day, but it would be such a nice distraction, wouldn’t it? Stress relief, too. And Ellie would sleep so _well_ —

She moans, blinking her eyes open, not realizing when she had begun kissing Dina again, or Dina had begun kissing her. All she knows is that Dina is close to her and the room is starting to get _hot_ and her hands feel so good on her skin, slowly crawling back up to her chest, cupping her breasts, and she shivers and pushes her tongue further in Dina’s mouth, which makes her groan in response. 

Dina breaks off the kiss with a wet, sucking sound, keeping her face close to Ellie’s, her eyes barely open.

“—You too,” she breathes, her voice lower. “Love. Love you, I do— mean.” 

Ellie sucks in a breath, knowing what comes next when Dina starts talking like that, when her voice gets lower and damp with lust. The arousal punches her gut and her eyes get slightly wider.

“Ellie,” Dina says in a small voice, almost as if asking a question. 

“Yeah?” Ellie breathes nervously, hoping, hoping they’re both crazy enough for a quick fuck in their bathroom with the kid asleep in the room next to them.

Dina opens her mouth to speak, and is cut off when JJ cries from the bedroom, instantly snuffing out the budding mood. They both turn toward the noise in confusion, confirming that it is indeed JJ awake and crying. Ellie sighs as the building arousal in her body and bloodstream quickly ebbs away, and she looks back to Dina with a helpless smirk. Dina does the same, and then they both chuckle to themselves and separate from their embrace.

“Nevermind,” Dina says with a smile, rolling her eyes and heading for the doorway. JJ lets out a pitchy shriek that makes both of them wince. “Your turn tomorrow,” Dina announces as she steps out of the bathroom and into the hall, on her way to the grueling task of calming the baby and coaxing him back to sleep.

Ellie smiles fully, probably just a bit too much, as the distraction recedes and her mind is dipped back into the cold world around her, as her racing heart slows with an ever-present ache. “There’s always the shower,” she calls out, earning a single chuckle from Dina in the other room.

Her smile instantly wears off, like letting go of something too heavy to carry any longer, and she makes half an attempt to pretend that the icy chill of sadness isn’t seeping its way back into her head.

_You deserve better,_ Ellie can’t help but think as she watches Dina go.

A few days later, Ellie is doing the dishes while Dina hums and sings to JJ, dancing with him somewhere in the living room. It’s amazing how they managed to get the plumbing to work, rigging it this way and that to make things run like they did in Jackson. She scrubs and rinses off the remaining utensils, basking in the sounds of the water flowing from the sink and Dina’s soothing humming voice. Occasionally Dina will break the melody to make a comment on JJ’s fabulous hair, or his peak fashion sense, or his stellar dance moves.

“Ohh, we got a future champion over here,” says Dina loudly from the living room, enough so that Ellie can hear her clearly over the running water. “He’s gonna win all the dance-offs during his Jackson visits!”

“We’re gonna be rich!” Ellie comments for humor, since there isn’t a prize for winning that competition other than bragging rights. A coldness slips into the edges of her mind at the thought of returning to Jackson, but it’s not enough to break the warmth of the sun on her skin through the window and the sweetness of the environment around her. The sound of footsteps approaches her, and then Dina is by her side.

“What are we gonna do with the prize money, wifey?” Dina asks, playing along. Ellie giggles and watches JJ reach out for a bubble coasting its way towards him from the sink. 

“Hm,” Ellie hums, making a fish-face at JJ. He smiles, all chubby cheeks and baby giggles, flailing his arms and bringing his hands together in baby-claps. “I think we’ll buy a spaceship and go to the moon. No Infected on the moon. And we can _fly_ ,” she adds with enthusiasm, which makes JJ clap more.

“The boss approves,” says Dina, nodding at JJ’s eagerness. She bumps Ellie with her hip. “Come join us,” she says, bouncing lightly in beat with the music.

“Two seconds,” says Ellie, and she gets back to the task on hand while Dina stays to keep up her little dance with JJ. Ellie makes quick work of scrubbing and rinsing the last couple spoons, forks, and a butterknife. 

The knife slips from her grasp and clanks loudly into the bowl of the sink, covered with slippery suds. The jet from the sink lands on the blade just so, causing the warm water to splatter all around and up onto Ellie’s shirt and forearms. Ellie blinks, suddenly back in the theater, her ears ringing from the sound of a gunshot, her eyes wide and bulging out of her skull as Jesse’s blood splatters across her face and he falls with a thud onto the floor, dead before she can even process it.

She doesn’t know how long it takes Dina to bring her back to the world, but when it’s all over, Ellie is exhausted, tears still tracking down her face, as she looks into Dina’s sympathetic, frustrated, patient eyes, and the only emotion she feels once again is guilt. It’s always the same. It’s a never-ending cycle of happiness, crashing, fixing, and shame. 

“I’m sorry,” Ellie is saying, not remembering how she got from the kitchen to the couch, not sure where Dina was able to set JJ down. Push him aside to accommodate Ellie’s broken state. “I’m so, so sorry, I—”

“Ellie,” Dina says firmly, gripping Ellie’s shoulders roughly. The pressure grounds Ellie, keeps her tethered to the world. “Stop apologizing.” Ellie gulps, and nods, knowing better than to challenge that tone, because Dina’s not having it. “I’m not mad at you. I will never be mad at you for being hurt by what happened, you _know_ that, right?”

“I do,” Ellie nods, remembering, believing in it, because she has to, because doubting it for even a minute would be to doubt Dina. “I remember, I remember... “ She breathes.

“And we’re done with blaming ourselves for it,” says Dina.

Ellie nods again, and remembers again. She remembers to speak. “Yes,” she breathes. “We are. Because I’m on my own damn team.”

Dina grins faintly. Ellie mirrors the expression. It falls. She lowers her head and closes her eyes. Dina rubs her shoulder comfortingly.

“Talk to me. No lying.”

It takes Ellie an entire, agonizing minute to answer. 

“You deserve better,” she finally says, the words pulled from deep within her chest, clawing their way out from concept into existence. She doesn’t open her eyes. She can feel the burn of Dina’s stare sear through her flesh and bone, zeroing in directly on her heart. Ellie’s entire body tenses in the silence that follows. 

_Say something. Please say something. Just tell me I’m right so it can hurt me in a different way._

“I think we all do,” says Dina. Ellie slowly lets her breath out through her nose, her body deflating along with her self-destructive will. “None of us deserved any of this, huh?” 

“Dina—” Ellie looks up, tears brimming her eyes again. Her mind blanks, unable to think, to find the right words. Dina is too patient, too rational, so much better at handling herself than Ellie can hope to achieve.

Dina takes both of Ellie’s hands into her own, kisses her knuckles, then flips them over and plants feather-light kisses on her wrists. “You’re the only one for me,” she murmurs into Ellie’s skin. She looks up and places Ellie’s palm on the side of her own face. “You’re the only one I want. This is my dream. And it’s yours, too, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Ellie breathes without hesitation. 

Dina’s eyes twinkle as she smiles, warm as a sunset. “Then I won’t have it any other way. And I’ll tell you that as many times as I need to. As many times as you need to hear it.”

Ellie wants to believe it - and a big part of her does. The other part that thrives off of her doubt and feeds on her sorrow is going down swinging. So what if Dina was everything Ellie couldn’t be? So what if this would have to be their lives forever? If Dina - strong, resilient, stubborn Dina, wants to stay with a mess like Ellie, who is she to stop her?

Dina finds Ellie while she’s dusting her boots off in the doorway, having returned after repairing part of the fence that was done in by an Infected. Ellie stops midway from taking off her left boot, balanced on one foot, when her jaw drops and she gives Dina a once-over. 

“All done?” she asks, only half-flirtatiously. She’s dressed in her very thin and very _see-through_ salmon-colored night dress, hair hair down and cascaded around her shoulders. 

“Guhhh—” Ellie clicks her jaw closed as she stumbles, putting her foot down with the boot only half off her foot, clearing her throat once she’s done wobbling. Her face feels hot enough to sear meat. “Um, yeah, just finished. Wasn’t much. Uh.” She clears her throat, her face burning brighter at the teasing smile Dina gives her, and she finally relaxes, remembering she’s not 16 anymore. “Damn, Dina,” she says, looking over her body once more, this time stopping to appreciate her figure. The curve of her hips, the shape of her legs, the pertness of her breasts and how the thin fabric leaves very little to the imagination on how hard her nipples are beneath it.  


Dina walks over to her, unhurried. “JJ’s asleep,” she says, crossing her arms. 

“Oh, that’s good.” Ellie says as she regains her focus and takes the time to properly get her boots off, definitely not kicking them off just a little too quickly. 

The moment the second boot hits the floor, Dina grabs Ellie’s hand and steps in close, but not close enough to put their bodies together. “You smell horrible,” she says with a smile.

“That’s the smell of a job well done,” Ellie teases back, lost in the beauty of Dina’s brown eyes. The setting sun from the kitchen window is angled just perfectly on her face, making her pupil constrict just enough for the rich, deep brown irises to take on a bronze sheen. Ellie could look into those eyes forever. 

Dina wraps her arms around Ellie’s neck and she pulls her in for a quick kiss. “Shower with me?”

Ellie doesn’t know how they made it up there and under the spray without waking the baby, given that they walked the entirety of the stairs and hall without their hands leaving each other. The water is warm and the pressure is perfect on Ellie’s skin, soothing her aching body. She’s already kissing Dina again before their hair is even fully wet, trailing her hand down from Dina’s chest to her stomach, then stopping, teasing. 

“ _Please,_ ” Dina whines, and Ellie shudders, that voice music to her ears, the neediness from it setting her very bloodstream alight. 

Ellie groans low in her throat, breaks the kiss to bite Dina’s earlobe, and then she gives her what she wants. 

"Oh, oh fuck, yes, Ellie," Dina moans, rolling her hips down onto Ellie's fingers. 

"That's it," Ellie growls, pushing her fingers in deeper, crooking them just so, her heart hammering in her ribcage. 

Dina roughly grabs her hair and pulls her into a sloppy, filthy kiss, using her other hand to grate her nails down from Ellie's shoulder blades all the way to her lower back, and Ellie nearly yells from the white-hot burn, at the way the pain sears her skin and spurs her on, making her weak in the knees. The sound is lost in Dina's mouth. 

The spray had become long cold by the time they were done.

Later that night, while Ellie dreams about nothing, she wakes up to wails and cries. She bolts upright, scanning her surroundings, her hand unconsciously reaching for the drawer on her nightstand where the revolver is, locked and loaded, ready to kill any Infected. As soon as her fingertips touch the cold wood of the nightstand, she realizes that it’s _Dina_ making those distressed sounds. 

“Dina,” Ellie says urgently, taking in her frantic form as she rolls her head side to side, her face scrunched up in distress, shining with sweat. “Hey, Dina, wake up, wake up,” Ellie gets a hand on her shoulder and Dina gasps deeply, her eyes popping open and locking onto Ellie’s form, looking frantic. “Shh, Dina, it’s me, it’s me, it’s Ellie.” She sits back and puts her hands up slowly, waiting for Dina’s breathing to subside. “Just a nightmare, you’re here and safe with me and JJ. Look, he’s right over there. You’re safe.” 

As if on cue, JJ starts crying, having been disturbed by the noises. Ellie makes haste to get to him, already picking him up by the time Dina starts her breathing exercises. Dina doesn’t say anything for the entire duration Ellie holds and shushes JJ back into a calm state, bringing him down from being relatively fussy but not yet exactly crying. After a long while of his silence, positive that he’s asleep again, Ellie sets him back down gently, then immediately goes to tend Dina, who’s now sitting at the edge of the bed with her head bowed down. 

Ellie takes a seat next to her and tentatively rubs soothing circles into her back. Dina flinches at first from the touch, then sighs and eases into it, resting her head on Ellie’s shoulder. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Dina turns her head into Ellie’s neck and presses her face into her skin, breathing in deep through her nose. Ellie nods, knowing Dina will feel the motion of the gesture, and Dina’s body loses over half of the tension. After a couple of minutes like that, Ellie gently grasps Dina’s hand and leads her out of the room into the hallway. They tread down the slightly creaky stairs, Ellie’s hands guiding Dina by her shoulders, until they get to the kitchen. Ellie fixes a glass of water, hands it to Dina, and is handed back an empty cup after half a minute. 

“It was that night again,” Dina says in a hushed voice, looking down to the kitchen tile. “Abby hurting you. Waking up to find Jesse dead. And…” She sniffs and wipes the corner of her eye with the back of her hand. She takes a slow, deep breath, then sighs it out. “I feel like I’m gonna lose it any day now, Ellie. I can handle it when I’m with you and JJ, because you two are— you’re like —you’re my strength. But it never goes away. It just builds up. The moment I’m by myself and alone with my thoughts, I… it, it _breaks_. It’s gone. It’s like I’m _nothing_ if you two aren’t there.”

Something stirs within Ellie. _Oh, that’s what it feels like._ She doesn’t like it, hearing Dina talk that way about herself, doesn’t like the very idea that Dina doesn’t have the slightest clue how fucking amazing she’s been doing. It leaves a sour taste in her mouth and a flare of anger in her chest. “Dina.”

“And God forbid something happen to _us_. What if we get separated? What if I end up alone and I’m just- just- _useless_ out there?”

Ellie grabs Dina’s shoulder, giving it a good squeeze. “Dina,” she says a bit louder, her voice firm. She bites her lower lip. This isn’t the first time Dina’s had a nightmare — far from it. But it’s the first time she let the cracks in her composure show. The first time she let herself be so vulnerable in front of Ellie since moving. The first time Ellie can clearly see the chips and fissures in the rock. 

Dina quiets, taking in a shaky breath, and slowly turns her head to look at Ellie with wide eyes. She looks close to mortified, and her mouth opens. “I… sorry.”

Ellie can feel the lightbulb ding in her head. Before she even knows it, she’s grinning. She’s smiling. She’s chuckling. She’s giggling to herself, unable to stop in the face of Dina’s confusion. When she finishes, she steps in front of Dina and holds both of her shoulders, leaning in until their faces are inches apart. 

“What are you sorry for?” she asks gently, rhetorically.

Dina’s brow furrows slightly. “For dumping all that shit on you when you already have enough on your plate?” 

“If _you_ get to say sorry for that, then so do I.”

Dina blinks, her brows raised. After a few seconds, a grin tugs on her lips, and she doesn’t fight it.

_I get it now. You get it too, don’t you? You have to. You tried to show me all this time and now I see it. Let me do the same for you._

“Alright,” Dina says, leaning in and touching their foreheads together, still smirking. “Fair.”

Ellie closes her eyes, breathes in Dina’s scent, sinks deeper into the darkness surrounding them. Slowly, the tension runs its course and eases from the atmosphere, leaving exhaustion and relief in its wake. Somehow, Ellie’s thoughts come to a standstill. Somehow, Ellie doesn’t know how, she’s ended up in Dina’s arms, resting her forehead against hers. Somehow, they end up standing there, holding each other close, idly shuffling and swaying in the silence. Ellie swears that if she listened hard enough, she could hear the music and chatter of the people back in Jackson. The idea doesn’t hurt, this time. 

“I’m glad it’s you,” Dina whispers, gentle enough not to break the lull they’ve fallen into. Ellie hears her words, feels their soul in her body and mind. 

“You too,” is all Ellie can think to whisper back, hoping Dina knows what she means, how much she means to her. She smiles, suddenly having an idea. “Let’s make another bet.”

“Oh?” Dina raises an eyebrow in interest. 

“I betcha we’ll be together forever.”

Dina scoffs, smiling, and nuzzles her face onto the crook of Ellie’s shoulder. “No fair,” she murmurs. “You’ll win.” 

Ellie smiles sheepishly, suddenly feeling corny and warm and fuzzy, overwhelmed with love in just the right way. She kisses the top of Dina’s head.

They go back to bed, hand in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> This is MONTHS old, and honestly, I didn't edit this all that much. But it's been sitting in my drafts and I just kinda wanted to get it posted already, though I'm honestly not all that much proud of it. Still working on a much bigger fic featuring these two that I brought up a while back, but it'll still be some time before that ever goes up. 
> 
> Nevertheless, thank you for reading!


End file.
